Here is the backdrop....85+ degrees all day. Very few clouds. Slight breeze here and there.
ME: Bug, put some sunscreen on before you get outside. You have to spray it on, then leave it for 15 minutes so it is waterproof.
BUG: NO! I AM NOT PUTTING THAT CRAP ON BECAUSE I WON'T GET A TAN.
ME: Honey, we are going to be out here all day and you will burn.
BUG: NO. I TOLD YOU TO GET TANNING LOTION!!!! YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!!!!
ME: Honey. You are lily white and tanning lotion is something you can't use. It's your first major exposure for all day fun in the sun.
BUG: DON'T TALK TO ME!!!
ME: I don't want to hear about it when you burn and hurt all over.
[Teenzilla ignores the Momzilla]
FRIEND: Well, you told her.
And so it goes that the Bugmeister burned so badly that it was 2nd, almost 3rd degree.
FRIEND: Oh my gosh. She is SO red.
ME: I know.
BUG: IT ISN'T THAT BAD! I WILL TAN AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL!
She threw up all night.
She was sick for two days.
BUG: Mom, I am never not going to listen to you again. Why was I so stupid?
ME: I know, right? I rest my case. Wait until tomorrow when you get oozy nasty blisters and peel. So gross. I am sure you just sealed your fate of getting skin cancer at a later age.
BUG: Mom, why am I so dumb?
ME: I blame your dad.