Friday, November 18, 2016

The Black and The Blue

Whew.


Last night was heavy.

When I came home, Bug sat next to me on the couch. We have been having some moments of glory and then the NOT SO. The not so makes my head spin around and the Madea came out.

So in order for this to all make sense ( to me and the voices in my head) I have to rewind to yesterday...

Yesterday we had a conversation at work and my friend told me everything Bug is doing is normal and this will all work out...parenting is not black and white. Well, I responded as best you could expect and I said, "No shit. Parenting is all about the black and the blue." You could imagine how well that went over. It went over about as well as a fart in church. And we started using the ghetto argument tactics. You know...where you talk and then talk louder over the other one and point fingers and tell the other one they don't know what they are talking about and yada yada. I was just doing it because I knew it gets under the skin and it is fun to razz my friend. Then the big boss poked his head in and said, "Yeah. Madea. We all parent that way. Hell to the no." Life is hard sometimes. You have to laugh your way through it.

But not on this day. She was frustrated with our viewpoints.

It was so much fun.



Anyway, we didn't solve world problems. Nor did we end up agreeing on parenting styles...but she is a great person and I enjoy her friendship. Now on the naughty side of me...so easy to play with my academic friends...whooeee...I love to jazz up the liberals who don't spank or discipline with the rod like the bible says  corporal punishment viewpoints or even in a strict way. But...they do make good foods for pot lucks.

See.

If the child bucks the system, the system bucks her off. That's the way I roll. And there are consequences. I do not hand out trophies and I do not give participation ribbons.

Kiss my what did you say?

Child...I gave you life. That is enough of a prize. Hallelujah!

Who me? Would I say that? Oh hell to the yes.




So...back to our couch visit... (no psychiatrist involved)....Bug poured her guts out to me and it broke my heart. She has been defiant and nasty to her mom because I have been gone a lot and it felt like when I was a cop. Her words. Do you know how that feels? Erg. Yeah. I felt like a big turd on shit mountain.

Yeah. That hit me in the guts.

But it doesn't mean she needs to act bad.

So I had to explain that while I am getting my Master's Degree it's going to be a little crazy like this but I made some concessions to help ease her mind. I am going to make more crock pot ideas in the mornings and have things other than pb and j, mac and cheese, fruit, and frozen Totinos pizza on hand. The fruit counteracts the processed, right? Ack.

She told me she really likes my cooking and likes to eat healthy...so OUT WITH THE OLD. I don't eat that processed food, so why should she. It is here I have failed. I also promised to have one night (at least) a week that we have our day to do something together. We do chat and share each night but it really is only an hour.  Then our day is done and we go to bed. That is not a lot of time.

It was a good cleanse of my daughter's heaviness and to see her sob was very hard and my heart broke. But it was good to get it out. And then we decided to torture the dogs and get selfies with them. They did not like it. Here is a sample of Oliver's torture.



Notice his look of "save me".
"Lady...come at me one more time with that phone camera."

And all settled down to "NORMAL" or what we call normal. 

8 comments:

  1. Sooo, to get what I want from you, all I have to do is cry and say how you ignore me? I guess most of that was true, but she also plays you like a fiddle. But some good did come out of it. BETTER EATS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no. She didn't get her way. She finally came out with why is her mother so evil in her eyes. Now I can give concessions back as far as time and food, but not giving her phone back.

      Delete
  2. I think a "date night" with the kid is a GREAT idea!

    Bill

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good compromise. You can also add an hour off the neck chain kinked to the wall every evening for each day of good behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  4. At least you and Bug talk about it. That's better than many if not most. Back when we had "barn kids" their parents would often ask US how there kid is doing. They liked talking to us. At least we didn't have to actually live with the kids or their parents. Less pressure, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You can never appreciate your parents until you become one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You think he's thinking "save me," but I just think he's thinking, "Why are we sitting here like this?"

    ReplyDelete