Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Putting On The Fits

A woman is only helpless when her nail polish is drying. Or she can't fix things by herself and has no funds to pay a work husband to do it. I sometimes do without. Or use duct tape. It's the ghetto way.

It's hard to be a woman. We have to be strong. People expect us to act like a lady. Then we are supposed to be fun. Oh, and look like a Barbie! Plus, work like a horse. And then there are those who like us in dresses. Yeck.

Actually, I like dresses when I am skinny. Fat dresses are tents. Don't let anyone fool you. You can't put lipstick on a pig. The best you can hope for is to pitch yourself at a nice location.

I am really happy in yoga pants or jeans. Or anything camo or rugged. Also, I used to like to fix things, but now I am pretty much over it. outing must be had by all because staying at home looking at patched walls and things to do will drive a girl batty crazier plum nuts. I've never tried those by that way. 

This is something I learned about areas of higher population. Trails are busy. And they are not high up in the air nor on rugged ground. You could fit 5 people across on the flat, nice trails. Once you get into ravines and cave areas, you just walk through the water and again, on nice groomed trails. And added bonus, is they put boardwalks, stairs, and bridges for us ladies. It's like throwing the coat down over the puddle trick.

You guessed it. I was the only one in all The Land carrying a small day pack with water and snacks and a camera. So weird. If we were to be trapped in a canyon with zombies, I would not share.

Not only that, you do not dress up in your North Face or Mountain Hardware outfits with hiking boots. *shudder* Don't even try to impress anyone with zip off pants converted to shorts. They look at you like you just got that off a local stripper train. Everyone around here wears active wear like yoga pants or spandex and tennis shoes. And matching. Boy, aren't they cute? I was floored.

And me, sporting my braids and Wyoming gear looked way out of place. Did I rush to fit in? Nope. I continued on my merry way and they could just assume a tourist stomped through town. Oh well.

I don't fit in anywhere. I'm kind of awkward like that.

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