Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Momster Chronicles

After watching Everest, my brother and I have concluded that those adventurers are frickin' nuts. Not that I didn't already think that, but it just concreted the notion. If I want to lose oxygen, I will hike the 14teeners in Colorado or climb the peaks of Wyoming. Add in freezing to death and days of feeling like a guppy out of water? No thanks. You could lose a nose, ears, hands, feet...or worse...your life. There is no way you would be beauty pageant material after that. How would I even get a date?

They leave your dumb ass up there too.

I don't really think they are dumb asses. I admire those who can achieve things I would never dream or desire to do. I will watch their victories from the comforts of my home and raise my glass to them when they conquer the mountain. "Here, here, you silly people!"



It's like a train wreck. You can't look away. Crazy assed people. Krakauer's Into Thin Air was the one I read and then watched first then it caused me to read more up on the expedition.

Good book. Read it.

During both movies, your heart tugs and pulls and you yell at the screen, "turn back! turn back!" as if you could save them. They are already dead. These movies are just memorializing their journey. I already knew the story behind the movies as I tend to eat up those articles and life histories when they become public.

And yet people still go up there. It's the same thing when the white people never leave the house when the ghosts appear. Duh.



Oh, I have friends and relatives of this nature. Yep. They're crazy as shit, God love them.

I think it is more of a challenge to dig myself out of my rut bound life. That shit should win some type of big honor. I suppose if someone made a movie out of it, it would be a B rated one with poor dubbing.

The language used might Trump it out of the theaters. Cruz on down to Netflix and rent that shit. I'm like a block of rough wood who needs lots of Sanders. Of course, if you go too far, you might Rubio out all that glorious grain and send me down the Hillary with the other firewood.

I'm kind of punny today.

My daughter told me before we rented Everest, "Mom, let's pick a good movie to watch together."

"Ok. I said. How about Everest? Grandma said it was good."

"Yeah. That looks good."

After it was over she said, "Mom, you knew all those people were going to die, didn't you?"

"Yep."

"I can't believe you made me watch a sad movie where people froze."

"At least they didn't eat each other like Alive. Yet, another true story."

"Ew. Mom, you traumatize me."

"You can't use that word if you don't know how to spell it. Besides, maybe that will teach you to wear your coat to school."

"Mom, that really has nothing to do with anything."

"Oh, I thought it was a good lesson."

"Mom, it teaches you not to go up to Mt. Everest and that even the greatest mountaineers have sacrificed themselves. And that going up there is dangerous and bad."

"Yeah. Don't do that,either. And if you do, wear your coat and don't tell your Mom."

"Mom, they were wearing coats."

Yep. Show my kid reality TV like Everest and Alive, you get accused of traumatizing your kid and you're going to hell. Let them watch Party Down South, The Bachelor, or Honey Boo Boo and you fit right in with generational moms. Well, fuck it. This is a new kind of mother.

Momster. I think I'm pretty cute.

2 comments:

  1. I heard on radio today that a survey says millennials are not eating cereal anymore because they have to clean up afterward. It is too inconvenient to take the bowl to the sink and rinse it out. You expect them to wear a coat, too? Of course, you would have to put it on them. Just saying...

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  2. Momma Fargo:
    Bug thinks that YOU traumatize her???
    Wait until she get out into the REAL WORLD.

    Gonna have to be made of some stern "stuff" these days...a lot more than those days when I was her age.

    Good post.

    Roll safe down there, Kiddo.

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