Monday, February 22, 2016

My Fairy Godmother Is Smoking A Bowl

My fairy godmother is out smoking a doobie somewhere. It is probably some really seriously good bud. She left me years ago and I haven't seen her for quite some time. Maybe she prefers sandy beaches. I don't know. I just know she is absent. It was amusing for the first few weeks, but now I long for her to return.

Do you ever just wake up in thoughts and look around you and feel your life is strange? Hello, this isn't my life!

Maybe you are in a place of transition or moving out of one point of your life into another. Or is age settling in and you haven't grown up yet?

I've been in a hole for three years trying to dig myself out. Believe me, it's like being in a mud cave and the damn rain keeps coming in and filling it back up. Nothing like mud pies as a kid. This is some serious sludge. Probably a little nature mud mixed with wildlife poo.

There are two options: give up or dig out. If you are spiritual like me, you pray and meditate along with the two options. I don't think I have ever totally given up on something. Well, only two marriages.

However, that is a two party problem. If the problems are just single issues or by myself problems, then I can resolve them somehow. If the first option doesn't work, I try another. Maybe that is why I was suited for cop work. Little problem solver, I was.

And I was trained in the hood for later life. I could always sell meth or Mary Jane. Those are options, right?

And there is always jail.

But that doesn't sound too pleasurable. Do you know how many people have puked or shit their pants on those beds? Ew, gross. And imagine all the bugs and diseases. I could get all that by staying in college.

So jail is out for now. And drugs make me sick...just the smell...I have never done THOSE kind of drugs. Only the legit prescription kind on a schedule. They are really no fun and usually I don't do the recommended anything, they sit on the shelf and rot, then I throw them out. I could have sold them on the black market at least. But then again, that jail option pops up.

"If you call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be." -John Heywood

First off, how could John Heywood know in the 1500's how my life was going to suck balls sometimes? Second, I lost a lot of wind trying to say that long sentence.  I am not a Debbie Downer, but "Shut the fuck up, John."

Not really. He's already dead and quiet.

Troubles give you strength, yada, yada, yada. I am strong! Move on to the next person, will ya!?!

Just once, I would like my fairy godmother to show up and give me the right push, a fresh start. It makes no never mind to me if she is plump and old or young and beautiful. Just to have one would be awesome! The standard issued one disappeared when I was about 15. I think she stepped out for a smoke out back. Perhaps to another country, in fact. Nah, she is on an international high or testing marijuana globally. I am sure of this.

Just once she could flit back my way or show up unannounced to save the day.

Or why can't buckets of sunshine could fall from the skies and grow some greenback trees out back? You know what is crazy? Me. Ok. Besides me. Most of my troubles are financial.  Money troubles irritates the shit out of me because it is menial but runs everything.  This is the first time I have had career blocks due to financial needs and medical issues piling up the financial troubles. If I could get a second job or part time work or overtime, I would be all over that. I used to have that luxury as a cop. Plus I wasn't living on $18,400 a year (that includes my raise). Ack! Yes, I revealed it. To clarify, that is not my wages. That is what is left over after taxes and benefits in this here taxable land. I lived in the land of no income tax and now whammo! I'm not really stressed about the wages, just the fact that it takes eons of time to make a savings account and then bam! an event happens and knocks it out to nothing.

I get the clue, God. I was wasting so much money in Wyoming. It was shameful. I get it now.

You can up the ante.

I guess I have to say I do pretty good for that, but I am ready to move on. I was recently accepted to grad school. I start next fall. In the meantime, I am keep on keeping on.

The best I have now is to have a garage sale. Dear month of May, you can't come fast enough!

I have many blessings in my life. Most are in the form of people.

Put your big girl panties on, Fargo. It's going to be a rough ride.

1 comment:


    The devil is the great deceiver, however, without men to do his work no work gets accomplished.

    2 Corinthians 11:3-4 But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. 4 For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you received a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully.(NASB)

    2 Corinthians 11:13-15 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. 14 No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will be according to their deeds. (NASB)

    Paul and the rest of apostles preached a different gospel than many preach today.

    Apostles Doctrine: Mark 16:15-16 And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. 16 He who has been believed and been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned.(NASB)

    Those preaching a different gospel say immersion in water is not part of the gospel plan of salvation.

    Apostles Doctrine: 1 Timothy 2:3-4 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth.(NASB)

    Those preaching a different gospel say God does not want all men to be saved. They say, God has selected only a few to be saved and all other should burn in hell.

    Apostles Doctrine: Acts 4:10-12 of Jesus Christ...12 And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved."(NASB)

    Those who preach a different gospel say, Jesus is one many names by which we can be saved.

    Apostles Doctrine: Acts 2:38 Peter said to them, "Repent, and and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (NASB)

    Those who preach a different gospel, say be baptized for the forgiveness of Adam's sin and your sins.

    Those who preach a different gospel say, be baptized because your sins have already been forgiven.

    Apostles Doctrine: 1 Peter 4:17....what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 2 Thessalonians 1:8-9.....and to those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9 These will pay the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power,(NASB)

    Those who preach a different gospel say, do not worry about eternal destruction; because God will force those He has chosen to believe and be saved.

    Apostles Doctrine: Galatians 1:6-9....for a different gospel; 7 which is really not another, only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But if we, or an angel from heaven, should preached to you a gospel contrary to to what we have preached to you, he is to be accursed!......

    Remember Satan's servants disguise themselves as servants of righteousness.