Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The First High School Boy

Bug asked if she could go to a friend night which was chaperoned by another mother. I thought it was just a teenager girl movie thingy but I was fooled. I should have known better. There were boys. Boys hidden from The Momster because she causes embarrassment. I was to pick her up at the movies after the show was finished and take her home. I greeted her with a smile late last night...

ME: How was the movie?

BUG: Ok. I already saw Star Wars. We had to see it again because the other movie was full.

ME: Oh. Did everyone else see it twice too?

BUG: No, I was the only one.

ME: Oh. Was it great the second time?

BUG: Not really. I already saw it. 

ME: I would like to see it more than once.

*awkward silence for a few miles*

BUG: Mom. Can I tell you something?

ME: Sure (bracing myself)

BUG: There is this boy Taft who plays basketball and football and he sat next to me and we know each other from school and I wanted him to hold my hand and I moved it into position and he would bump me and poke me and I thought he was going to grab my hand but he didn't. Is it weird to be disappointed?


ME: Uh. Let's start at the beginning. Why didn't you tell your mother about boys at the movie.

BUG: Because I knew how you would react.

ME: How so?

BUG: You always want to meet them and tell them you have ninja skills and the shotgun works better after 10 pm.

ME: Actually, it is the shells go faster after 10 PM. 

BUG: See! You embarrass me.

ME: That's my job. So how did this go down?

BUG: We all started texting.

ME: Sexting?

BUG: I AM NOT A WHORE!

ME: Wow.  I did not suggest that. Just my job to interrogate the child. Using a little detective slip magic.

BUG: Stop it. 

ME: Well, I just want you to make good choices. So, when boys poke you and hit you, they like you. Stupid high school stuff.

BUG: Yeah.

ME: Well, he has a uh nice name. Taft. Rhymes with Craft. 

BUG: MOM!

ME: What?

*blalink blalink*

ME: What's that noise!?!

BUG: I got a text! He asked me if I liked the show. (holds phone to heart)

ME: Did you tell him who your mother is?

BUG: Stop it, Mom. 

ME: Let me Facetime him. After seeing Creed, I have new shadow boxing moves. Let me show him. (shows air moves while driving with no hands)

BUG: YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!


3 comments:

  1. And now the fun begins. When do we start planting the land mines in the front yard? LOL

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  2. "Mom, what's a 69?" Boy you are about to have some fun. Be cool, don't scare her off. But find a quiet place to bury the bodies.

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  3. Momma Fargo:
    Now THAT is how a convo (Mom-Daughter) should be done...
    And I just LOVE that facts about SHOTGUNS...LOL.
    Learn something "new" every day, hmm?
    The bext couple years shiould be QUITE "interesting".
    Stay strong.
    (and no "justifiable warning shots", kapeesh?)

    Roll safe down there, dear.

    ReplyDelete