Friday, May 1, 2015

Trim Your Bush and Other Randomness

Flowers, I have neglected you! It's temporary true, don't be blue. Trees, you look so fine! You must be mine!

I was a poet in a former life.

I like to prune trees. I don't like to prune bushes. Trees are immediate gratification and little work goes a long way. Bushes...well, there is too much in there to deal with and it is like a mangled mess. Then you have to pick out the debris and winter stuff blew in there and got stuck.

Plus you can burn trees; have a cool bonfire and drink beer, preferably a divine micro brew, and stare at fire. It's pretty neat.

I was a hippy in a former life.

I am so excited for a nice weekend to get my hands dirty. Bug and I raked the yard last weekend only to be interrupted by my new carny neighbor who told me he has COPD. That sucks. Literally.

People just see a need to talk to me and I have no idea why. Like on Twitter. Who are these people? I also find my Twitter fan base is random and sometimes I get notifications of those following me and I wonder...why? Why did they find me interesting? Not sure. I also laugh at those who drop you when you don't follow back. So sorry. I'm not one of those.

Back to my flowers. My bosses gave me roses to plant for jock support day. So excited. Wee! I lost my bush last season to winter kill. Yeah. The roses. Pervert. What were you thinking?

Speaking of pricks, roses and me don't always see eye to eye. The little buggers have a tendency to lash out at me when I am pruning them. Bug likes to stick the broken dead ones in the leaf pile so when I pick up the discards, zowie! Yeah. Gotcha!

She thinks she is so funny. Until.It.Happens.To.Her. Then I laugh. We bond. Over pricks. I have a lot of pricks in my life.

Mole I come!

Moles are kind of cute, right? Egads, Merna, have you lost your mind? The word moles does not describe anything pretty...moles on your face...moles in the ground. Nasty. Like that teacher in Uncle Buck. Flip 'em a quarter.

Did you hear on the news they now have injections you can get in your neck to eat all your neck fat? Boy. Let me jump right on that. Me and my chins will be right over. Right? Ew. Sounds sinister. I'm sure people are lining up for that.

I'll wait. When they all come out looking like Mickey Rourke, then you will know. Bad idea.

I hate garden gnomes. They scare me. They are creepy. Gnomes were created way long time ago by a creepy, creepy man who thought males with beards and red hats would bring joy to the children. Not sure about that, but no girl would have created those. They would have made goddesses and fairies and such. No such frolicy (that is a word) nonsense never occurs in my garden. Besides, they just would not fit in with my colonial, old world style of mystery and ancient pieces with shades or gray and green. There is no red hatting and mischief at the Harry Potter House even though one or two of their characters look gnomish.

I might like me a Hagrid... though.

Yeah. Maybe not. The dog looks terrified.

1 comment:

  1. Momma Fargo:
    That head-shrub looks like Weird AL Yankovic...LOL.
    I'd chat you up in a damn heartbeat...we would have TOO much to talk about!

    "little pricks"...sounds like a quote from some IRON MAN movie...heh.

    Garden gnomes are cool (for me)
    Garden homeless people, garden perps, and garden thugs?...not so much.

    Nah...the dog is BORED...gnomes have NO real sporting events (unless you consider drinking games).

    Good post.

    Roll safe down there, Kiddo.