Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The Song of My People

I always have loved zoos...of all kinds and all sizes. However, sometimes I get sad because they don't have much space and they don't get to roam free. Antagonist viewers also get me all riled up because I really want to take those naughty taunters and feed them to the lions. But alas, that would result in jail and so I must only sin in thought.

I grew up extremely emotionally attached to animals. I really don't know where it came from other than it was a gift from God.

My dad loved animals but didn't have that tug and pull like I did for them. He got emotional when we lost a dog, but I got emotional over a poor bunny in the road whom I never knew. It is true I would wreck a Cadillac before I would hit a bunny in the middle of the road. I say whom, in reference to the bunnies...because by golly, they are my people. All y'all as in all the furry friends of the forest and plains and sky and dirt. Everywhere. All them. Those ones.

My mom never had great attachment to any animals over the years that I saw but she always treated them well and I think she enjoyed them, but she wasn't like fiery emotional. I was the one hanging on them with loves and probably irritating the shit out of the horses by constantly being in their face, delivering kisses.  Mom never had pets after she left the ranch nor does she have any now that she is retired. So, where did I get such impassioned feelings toward any non-human thing?

It must be the fact they are my people and I was probably adopted by humans.
Photo credit: Pinterest with embellishment by Fargo

This last visit to the Indy Zoo was full of new experiences. I have been there many times because I am blessed with friends who have gotten the family passes so I get in for free. It would be the pits to have to pay admission to visit your family. We wandered around to the various areas to visit our friends and family. It was interesting to see what was crackalackin' at the zoo. It is landscaped so perfectly well you feel like you are in the jungle, forest, plains, or desert-depending on the sections of the zoo. I didn't much feel like I was in the ocean in the water area because, well, they were all in tanks with fake rocks. It was like a walrus diorama or Toby's fish tank project. This part made me somewhat sad and I felt the water life's pain and agony of swimming in circles. I do it all the time.

First new thing- I had never seen a dolphin pee in the water, although it is plausible to believe they do. Do they poop? I don't know. I never saw it happen. But the pee thing was traumatic. They were all swimming like divine Olympic athletes so graceful and beautiful. I could almost hear the ocean noises and instrumental music play to their moves. Ok. So that's a little corny, but it is sorta true. One dove down near the viewing tunnel. He or she (I can't tell nor did I cop a feel-what does a Dolphin penis even look like?) swam near us and did a little poot poot of yellow cloudy stuff. It was nasty. And to think those dolphin trainers get in there with them and swallow that stuff. Yeck. I know you are thinking salt water might sanitize that, but does it really? It's not Clorox. Think of that next time you go to the lake. It's green for Pete's sake anyway and imagine all the poot poot you are not seeing.

Next, it was the baboons. I have always known they are naughty. Every time I visit them, they have two second sex, which I think is a record, and do naughty things. I have to capture these things on film, because surely no one would believe such things:

"The Wet Dream Slide"-Photo by Fargo
After this fella had two second sex with a female, she sad down to avoid any further short penetrations. He realized she was not going to give it up and eventually walked with full on hard on to the other side of their "sanctuary" and did this. Yep. All over the girls below him. It was really naughty. His friend was sunning his manhood in full sun (yes-both meanings). I tastefully took a photo to demonstrate while not showing his full on erection. It was my own version of Italian Renaissance art.

Papio anubis Lucias of African Splendor-Photo by Fargo
We stared at them for a while longer than was probably improper and Bug did not like the fact I was laughing and chanting, "work it" , while taking photos of the naughtiness. Well, I started a fad because soon everyone was taking pics of baboon penis. I shit you not. You have to admire them for only desiring sex, food, and water. It's pretty basic.

Once I was snapped out of my trance, we moved on to other things. The giraffes were quite interesting because despite hay feeders within reach, they opted for trees. It was similar to someone getting government handouts, but then stealing stereos and freezer meat out of a rich man's garage. That happened once. Shut it. It's real. 

"The Lengths Some Go"-photo by Fargo
We mosied on through the safari land and got stuck at bird watching for some time. It was not "stuck" as in a negative moment, because they are cool and therapeutic to view, but it was stuck as in transfixed. Birds are old people's crack therapy and peaceful reflection times, but I am a fan of bird watching as well. So there are those flamingos...

Vrksasana Truth Baby-Photo by Fargo
In yoga, there is a principle called satya (the practice of truthfulness) that teaches yogis (not Yogi the bear) to think, speak, and act in alignment with what is true. I have not idea how alignment equals truth, but the Yogis say it is so, so it must be. How is that for profound philosophical nonsense? Because it’s a challenging balancing pose, Tree Pose offers an opportunity to practice this principle by aligning yourself with the truth in your own body. Now what the fuck does that mean? That means Fargo is not aligned with any balance and the truth of the matter is the closest I can get to Yoga expert is having a mat. I saw a few flamingos in Warrior Pose but I was not able to snap a shot of them due to my squirrel train of thought onto the rhinos whom (because they are people) I just stared at for long periods of time. The rhinos are cousins to my people, the hippos. At least that is my theory. 

What does the Indy Zoo have that is spectacular and crazy industrial good? Answer: Orangutans, computer tests, and industrial park for them to do their ariel tricks. I find it scary. What if those adorable orangutans fell to their doom? There are no nets to catch them. What if they felt depressed one day and did a walk about? What if they are really King Kong and we have been fooled all these years to think he was a big gorilla? Notice the bird is really a bird and the gorilla is really the orangutan. It could happen. Actually, right before I snapped this shot, a Southwest plane was in the pic and I was too slow, but it was a REAL King Kong moment then. 

King Kong of Indyland-photo by Fargo
The koalas were in town for a traveling exhibit. It was depressing. I couldn't take a picture. There were two, in two separate glassed off areas about 12 x 12 with metal pipe trees and plastic leaves and branches. OMG. I was mortified. The poor things. They were asleep. I didn't want to be there when they woke up and realized it was a pipe dream. Sad. And they were adorable. We wanted to break glass (not wind like usual) and rescue them, hold them, and set them free in some REAL Eucalyptus trees.

We spent all day at the zoo. Duh. That's what you do. I got a little heat exhaustion, but I that happens since I got heat stroke many years ago. It doesn't take much and then BLAMMO, I have a migraine and get sick. Blah. At least it happened later when I got home and not at the zoo while I was enjoying the reunion with my peeps. At the end of the safari trail, we found ourselves in a trance while viewing the Lemurs. 

They are a busy little creature unless they are sleeping which is most of the day. My kind of happy. They have this unyielding stare, however, which is kind of serial killer creepy. But instead of giving you the creeps about them, they make you feel like the creep. I guess we are because they are living there and we are the voyeurs. That's what I call..."they are good". Making me the creep. I don't think I would want them in my closet. It's like the clown thingy. I'm deathly afraid of clowns anyway, but a lemur? Might be right up there with the clowns.

The next day, we had to get all jungle at home. Murphy needed a summer cut because he was gettting too heated.  I loved my bear and his fur was like therapy crack, but even with AC, he was hot.
Before Pic: Murphy posing with bone-photo by Fargo
So...of course, the latest and greatest thing with labradoodles and the like is...
Murphy After Pic-Hairdo by Pampered Pooch: Photo by Aleea Woodbury

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle, the quiet jungle
The lion sleeps tonight...

Yes, my lovely, dear friends at Pampered Pooch are brilliant! I love that they are my wonderful friends and very wonderful and caring dog groomers. After all, my dogs only go to trusted vets and groomers. I am very picky. And their prices are unbelievably inexpensive. I keep telling them to raise them, except for me. LOL. I only have to pay for it once a year, so I am a bad customer. 

Murphy loved it! He pranced, danced, played and thinks his shit doesn't stink. I won't tell him otherwise...because he is adorable, but his poo does smell bad. It's poo. 


  1. Dolphins do have penises. I saw a special on them that showed them with boners masturbating by dragging it across a rocky bottom over and over again. I tried it and it hurts. I guess they like pain. Not me.

  2. Oh, I choked on my strawberry. Good one!