Wednesday, May 13, 2015

PoopNCancer

I get two steps forward and three back. It's how I roll. I need to come with a warning label.

Some students gave as a gift some coffee from Saudi Arabia. I am pretty much all into the cultural sharing unless it is diseases because different and diversity fascinates me. It's a learning thing. I am a sponge. So...my take on this coffee..

"Tastes like dirt with undertones of sands from Arabia with a hint of raw earth."

Yep. It is a very light roasted bean and when ground up it looks kind of like a dark mustard color. It actually tastes more like a tea than a traditional coffee. It's different and I don't mind it but it is not what I am going to grab when I want my java fix for the day. Perhaps an afternoon fake tea drink of sorts. Let me tell you what else. I had to run to the bathroom and pronto. Yep. It's a great colon cleanse as well. I highly recommend it.

One thing I can't quite figure out is if or when your colon is clean. I mean we all have to go, but after that do we feel empty, cleaned out, or do we need a hose up in there to finish it kind of like when you wash your truck after mud bogging.

Not sure if that's the same.

But as I sit here, I don't feel clean. I feel the same. The only time that is different is the rush to the restroom and the cleansing part. Then...BAM...it is all gone. And no warming sensation or feel good cleanse emotion comes over me.

Relief?

Yes, that I did not poop my pants.

It was a topic of discussion between ladies at work with me included. I know, right?

What's even weirder is now that I am on this Eat Lean Poop Green lifestyle, I can't eat anything but chicken and salads without having major butt explosions. I don't like that. I also like steak and other things. This is becoming a problem. The ladies suggested I eat cookies once in a while to keep the sludge in there so I could eat other things without all the hassle. It might be a good idea. I can't tell you the last time I had a good cookie.

And after that, we discussed weird skin issues at our age. I have rose bush scratches with bruises forming. I have lumps on my arms which have now started to show bruising. On my left forearm is a poke I got while moving wood and it hurts in a large 50 cent area. I have had a skin cancer removed recently that grew back and now we are all paranoid it has spread. They diagnosed me with skin cancer. They didn't even need all that silly schooling and fancy degrees. I didn't have to wait 45 minutes in the waiting area either. All in all I think that is a pretty good deal.

Yep.

That's what women do when they get together and drink dirt coffee.

Poop and cancer.

That's what my life has whittled down to.

Depressing.

But here is a cute puppy to make you smile!

Murphy exhausted after the bad storm that almost killed us dead. Not really. But the electricity had to be shut off as our wires and meter was ripped off the house by a falling flying tree. 

I must say I am looking forward to running tonight after work. It's cooler and sunny, a most perfect fall day at the end of spring. It's nice to be back.

Do I have to wear pink because I have cancer now?

1 comment:

  1. Momma Fargo:
    Sorry to hear you got some of the "c"..
    Hell, they way I eat stuff, I probably got some too someplace.
    (runs in the family...mine and Wifey's)
    Can never get away from those ill-fitting GENES...lol.

    Not gonna go the "poopin' green" route, though.
    I think it's astounding enough to see me drink coffee and Dr. Pepper and see it come out light yellow...lol.
    Don't like to temp fate...or God.

    YOu had YOUR power lines ripped off the house? Welcome to OUR world (something ELSE we have in common now).
    But, the only difference is that we did NOT lose power...go figure..(smart tree?)
    Still, we have PLENTY of candles...and LANTERNS...and BATTERIES.
    (just in case)

    You take care and roll safe down there, dear.

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