Sunday, April 26, 2015

Why not?

For some strange reason,  I decided to do a 30 day challenge with kettle bell squats. Why not? I suppose you think I was frangled into doing it by some friend. Frangled=wrangled by force.

Nope.  It was not on the internet. It was not proposed by friends.

I just want my butt to be lifted up out of my socks.
 I know I am probably crazy and even though it might be a good idea to get checked because then I would qualify for SSI, I am avoiding it all costs. I mean, how can I be a super hero with ninja skills if I am certifiable? 

Batman never went to a shrink for a diagnosis, but I really think he had an issue with S & M. Really. No one likes that much black unless they are going to a funeral and that tight suit...yeah...whips and chains, baby... unless... 

Yes. Batman did not need the internet. He had the bat signal. People needed him. He was lured places by a signal before the internet was even invented and it worked. And his gadgets. Who knew? I suspected. It's the next episode...the unveiling of the truth...

Back to the squat thingy.

Let's face it. I'm 47, almost 48, and gravity is a bitch.

In my mind, I'm 29 and holding and everything is perky. No, I don't do drugs.

As long as there are no mirrors in sight, this is my reality. Shut it.

It is exciting that I am on the downhill slide of forcing myself to the gym and to run. I actually enjoy it and now and feel guilty if something interrupts my runs. (Disclaimer-this is not potty talk)

It feels great to be able to just run again. (Again, not diarrhea)

Simple childhood movements become a task after 45. My next goal: walk without creaking. 

In the midst of my squat challenge...which I had to start over because I missed two sporadic days ...the Bug approached me.

It is commonplace that children interrupt their parents at the most inopportune moments.
BUG: Mom
ME: Yes, Can you see I am doing my squat challenge.
BUG: Yeah. You need to go down further. Get your booty lower.
ME: Don't  you have to clean your room?
BUG: I have a question.
ME: Yes.
BUG: So. What does it mean when it itches down there.
ME: You need to scrub that thing. Get in there and wash.
BUG: Do I have an infection?
ME: Well, I 'm not looking at it
BUG: But how do I know if I have an infection?
ME: Do you have a bunch of jiz whiz?
BUG: What? No. I don't even know what that is.
ME: Stuff. Nasty stuff in your underwear.
BUG: No!
ME: Then you are fine.
BUG: But what if it itches?
ME: Do you want to get up all in there with a hairbrush?
BUG: Ooo. NO!
ME:  Then you just need to wash. Can I finish in peace, now?
BUG: Yep. Mommy, I really, really love our dogs.

Random 6 second blips. It's the way of the teenager.
Now, for the confession of the hairbrush...
And someday I am going to run around in my garden just like this for no apparent good reason...why? Why not?

1 comment:

  1. Momma Fargo:
    You want to walk without CREAKING???
    I'll take CREAKING to what I hear...LOL>

    (sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies when I amble about, and THAT'S on a GOOD day)
    Then again, I'm not one of those guys that loses his butt as he ages...
    (seen plenty - not a pretty sight - some guys NEED shapewear...ROFL)

    Not even going to comment on hairbrushes, either...!

    Stay strong and safe down there, dear.