Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Tude

The last few days have become a game of mind over matter with the teen princess. I call it, "Tude Adjusting." It is supposed to be a parenting tool of progression from The Tude to something more pliable and worthy of a human being classification and the methods preferred are with positive influence of behavior modifications.

Somehow, she is as stubborn as a German Virgo jack ass firmly planted in concrete.

Dig it?

Feel my misery?

On top of that she pokes back and pushes my buttons. I picture her like Dr. Evil only not 1960's slow, skinny- the girl version-and the words flying in my ear like a gnat minus the 70's porn music in the background with the voice of Fran Drescher with resting bitch face and eye rolls and stuff.
Whew.

My blood pressure just went up. 

Among the topics which were abundant...started out with doing chores without me micromanaging...let me explain...

1) She demanded each day I leave a list of chores for her to do. My argument was that I should not tell her what needs to be done, she should know by now what is expected. Her argument: "I forget." Sound the alarm. Mom's head is on fire. So, I compromised here. I left notes with lists and I HATED it. Yesterday, I left this...

She was not amused and threw fits of anger while I was away working but took it out on me first thing when I walked through the door. Yes, my plan backfired. Stomping, dirty looks, and calling me "ridiculous" spewed from the mouths of babes. As you can imagine, I was none too impressed. I gave her tantrum a 6 and told her to figure it out, it was a waste of my time to micromanage my kid and she had a brain. Momster failure 1: NOT CODDLING THE CHILD.

2) Her moodiness was also addressed (because the topic later came up-not during THE LIST episode) with how she treated my fake boyfriend in the past and addressed any other man friends like Sheriff Mike or others who were being nice to her while in the company of her mother. This resting bitch face and poo poo attitude happened when we went site seeing, out to eat, shopping for her school clothes, or whatever. It makes my blood boil to upteen levels of explosion. Like instantly. I have to control the urge to slap the living snottiness out of her face. Really...disrespectful teenagers make me have jail thoughts. I told her she was rude and distant with all of them despite their efforts to be kind and made me embarrassed.  I was done with it. I can't fix her dad. I can't convince her even by showing her that I am not like he is and I would never abandon her. 

She said, "I don't want you to have a boyfriend because I don't want you to end up like daddy ignoring me." You know what? That is bullshit. I think she got that off of some stupid ass movie and saw it had manipulating force. It's copied. It's not real feelings. Maybe it was in 2011. She uses that because she tries to play to my heartstrings. None of these people are her daddy and none of them are dating me nor taking time away from her. She is included. She also likes her private time and I give that to her. And someday I am going to date again. Like 20 years from now and stuff.

These men are or were friends. She does it to all people except those she likes. I won't stand for it and at the same time I don't want her to ruin the entire day. Why? Because she does. I have made her go on outings with various people and she ruins it. Makes. It. Miserable. These are truly kind people. Every time I talk to a man friend, she follows up with..."you aren't dating him now, are you?" 

Fuck.Me.In.The.Ass. 

I want to scream bloody murder which I have never understood because screaming isn't killing so what is the point of that saying? It's pointless. Anyway, I have tried everything I can think of and even leaving her behind is just making true her feelings of inadequacy or being left out. It doesn't really punish her anyway because sometimes she likes it. I also WANT her to be included and some of the events are catered to her. I don't know. But then, on the other hand, I have to enjoy myself and I do not want her tude to run the place. See. I'm vacillating. Can we get some prayers?


3) "Backtalking." I can't even type it without getting fuming mad. Can a mother slam a pony tail around the kitchen like a WWE wrestler even if it is attached to a body? It's just a question. 

Yeah. 

Those were the issues of Tuesday Tude. 

I'm sure I'll be back for some more episodes and lack of problem solving capabilities. 







6 comments:

  1. Ah the teen years... if you both survive all the 'fun' it gets better when they are about 35... ;)

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  2. Sweet Baby Jesus, Thank you for not letting me have children!

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  3. Tennessee Grammie...I can't wait that. Yikes!

    akcamper...I understand. I was never planning on having children because I was told I couldn't have any and then I did. See it's the way my life is. LOL. I will say...she has been such a great child until THE PERIOD came.

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  4. Momma Fargo:
    While I don;t have children (that I know of back in Philly Jersey or Delaware that I KNOW of), I went through those "impressionable" years.
    And the FIRST impression I can remember was either mom or dad letting me know that bad behavior has CONSEQUENCES...something TOO many people (or several generations) seemd to have missed out on when rules were passed out.

    Justice under our roof wa SWIFT...and FAIR.
    And then, it was over...only to be re-invoked should such behavior recur on my behalf.

    You could always bring her up here to the ZOO in Ft. Wayne, and then threaten to leave her in the TIGER area...
    (just kidding, the tigers are already well-fed).
    Maybe the sea-lion tank?
    (just kidding...again).

    There is no magic bullet (no pun intended)...just persistence on your part, and the love that you display so often TO her FOR her.
    (something many of her peers I'd wager do NOT receive)

    Roll safe down there, dear.

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  5. Oh, the teen years. Then teen mouth, the teen TUDE. I do feel your pain, but my oldest was a boy. I hear it's just not the same, tude-wise. Though my boy wasn't happy when he first found out I was dating either. I kept people from him, until I met my now husband because I knew that one was sticking around. I have no idea how to make that easier on teens, and there may just not be any way. My son's biology teacher swore up and down about a book that would help, and it did. It's not a book that I would EVER read on my own, but he said it's helped a lot of people and it really did help my son. It's called "The Five Love Languages of Teens" and it explains how people, especially teens, see/perceive love in different ways. There is a quiz they fill out that tells you WHAT their love language is. I was surprised how much words affect my son. There are things like Actions, Words, I can't remember the rest, but once I started following the book's advice our relationship did get a little better. It was hard for me to do, seemed like a bunch of b.s., but it worked. My son is still a stubborn jackass, but he's better about communicating and people tell me he's a Good Person. I don't see it, but my sister says they always save the worst for their mothers. Awesome, ey?
    Good luck. Good wine.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, the teen years. Then teen mouth, the teen TUDE. I do feel your pain, but my oldest was a boy. I hear it's just not the same, tude-wise. Though my boy wasn't happy when he first found out I was dating either. I kept people from him, until I met my now husband because I knew that one was sticking around. I have no idea how to make that easier on teens, and there may just not be any way. My son's biology teacher swore up and down about a book that would help, and it did. It's not a book that I would EVER read on my own, but he said it's helped a lot of people and it really did help my son. It's called "The Five Love Languages of Teens" and it explains how people, especially teens, see/perceive love in different ways. There is a quiz they fill out that tells you WHAT their love language is. I was surprised how much words affect my son. There are things like Actions, Words, I can't remember the rest, but once I started following the book's advice our relationship did get a little better. It was hard for me to do, seemed like a bunch of b.s., but it worked. My son is still a stubborn jackass, but he's better about communicating and people tell me he's a Good Person. I don't see it, but my sister says they always save the worst for their mothers. Awesome, ey?
    Good luck. Good wine.

    ReplyDelete