Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Xfinity Is Fake Television

Xfinity customer service sucks monkey ballz. I suppose it would be no surprise to anyone that Xfinity Rey is a douche. In fact, my entire chat was not recorded and the numbers he gave me were bogus. Not only was Rey's comments bogus, the service representative who scheduled the Monday appointment was full of shit, too. I WASTED 4 HOURS OF VACATION TIME. I am so fuming mad, but some might say it is par for the course. I was nice on Sunday. I was not nice on Monday when I got a no show appointment and messed up my vacation accrual.

So now...Xfinity Rey...up your butt with a coconut and Mr. Jacquay from Sunday night can sit on it and spin with you...and you are both douche canoes. You know what is worse? The reason why Xfinity sucks monkey ballz and has the worst customer service in all The Land is because no one can compete with them and they are a monopoly around here.



Can you feel it? That's my blood pressure rising. I had a fake appointment, a fake ticket number, and a fake modem problem. I am pretty sure right now I am symbol cursing on my business report and I will have to go back and check that Excel spreadsheet. Yes, I can multi-task.

Sure, I did 100 burpees while talking to Rosean Marvi Joy (Who the hell names their kids that-must be a rep on some LSD trip)-NOT! But this is what it felt like. I should have told Roses of Marvelous Joy she was just as fun as 100 burpees. 

By now the blood is popping in my vein behind my left eyeball. If I were a man, I would now know what it means to pop a nut. Actually, I still have no idea what that means or how that happens or the level of pressure it involves, but it must be close to dealing with Xfinity reps. I am putting them down as the cause of any past, present, or future medical problems I endure. 


Just out of curiosity I took my blood pressure reading after this and it was 113/59 with 58 beats per minute. 

Whiskey-tango-foxtrot? 

I now know why I love to read and television is overrated and the moral of this story is maybe my blood pressure is only associated with the teenager.





1 comment:

  1. Momma Fargo:
    Comcast (and Xfinity) used to be a damn GOOD company...when they were a small-fry outfit based in Philly.
    NOT ANYMORE!
    We had out share of service issues...never again.

    That's why we jumped ship (and I can't swim that well) and took up with FRONTIER (formerly Verizon).
    Great customer service.
    Got us a new router gratis...took les than a minute when I bopped over to the place to get one.
    And they have pretty good combo-plans (internet & tv), although I would prefer to have the phones on the old copper lines.
    The phone is still through Verizon...and that's been good, too.
    We have the Fios thing in Ft. Wayne.

    Satellite has it's OWN problems...like wind=-fade or snow/rain fade (pixelation when the dish moves in the wind or gets covered with snow.
    I used to hook them up for Circuit City, and I'd prefer cable...you can see what you have working.

    Hope this helps.

    Hang in there, Kiddo.

    And stay safe down there.

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