Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Lord of the Bacon

It is 08:28 AM EST and I still have not received a call from a royal at Xfinity.

Photo credit: Pinterest
If this makes no sense, then yesterday's post probably won't clear it up for you, but it would let you know I had a crazy chat convo with an Xfinity representative probably doing business from another country but purporting to be speaking to me from America. Yeah. I have no words. I think I am not going to screw with them on chat anymore, but I don't know what else to do since they refuse to have real customer service. Perhaps, I will tell Pjaramondo that the wand chooses the wizard. Do you think he will understand? At least, I think Rey and Pjaramondo are men behind the monitor because they are boy names, but who really knows?

Who doesn't love Harry Potter? You don't? Off with your head!

In other news...

I have received this nifty gadget from a medical aficionado close friend of mine: WALLAH! 
Mine is ZACTLY like this one and also from Amazon...delivered to my door! Thank you!
It is the neatest gadget and idea since sliced bread. I am now tracking my blood pressure throughout the day and writing all events down in a notebook to keep handy for my doctor's appointment at the end of February.

Call me a freak. Last night after the teenager bombarded me through the door, my blood pressure was 145/75...a little high.

BUG: Mom, I have a boyfriend.

ME: Oh great. Is he a hearing man?

BUG: What?

ME: Never mind. How about you try your hand at bacon? We need to work on those cooking skills!

She got out the wonderful Minnesota bacon (which cannot be topped-best in The Land) and believe it or not, we had a break through with Bug's cooking skills. She presented the most perfect bacon in all The World. 

Our convo is on the Facebook page and in case you don't Book The Face (stolen from The Russian Bear)...here it is: 

ME: We have made progress with your cooking skills! Perfect bacon and perfect hamburgers. We will work on condiments, side dishes, and try to get you to make Mac and Cheese without burning it or turning it to mush. 

BUG: Woohoo! Perfect meat is perfect for any man. They like their meat, Mama. I will get me a husband.


Real bacon flow chart from a real science study and decades of experiments.


In case you are wondering, bacon does not make the blood pressure go up. It might also help me have a normal conversation with Jacquais from New York on my next Xfinity help chat to get my new modem for internet service.

Good thing there is Internet at work. 

Yes. I am proof your tax dollars are hard at work.  Don't worry, this is all done on my break time.

I don't make these Xfinity names up...I tell ya. It is just like my Chinese pedicure salonist choosing "Shirley" as her American name. 

Off I go into the land of no assistance...

On another note, wouldn't it be fun just to screw with Xfinity reps all day so it would force them to improve their customer service? Yeah, I'm a sicko. Poor Rosean Marvi Joy.


  1. Call them every hour. All Day. I do and I even get some snide and rude remarks from them and I tell them I don't give a shit what they think. FIX MY SHIT! THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE THERE FOR. DO YOU JOB. I'll call back at 2:00 p.m. to make you are working on my problem.

  2. Momma Fargo:
    If there's ONE thing I can take away from this post and keep with me to the grave...it's the BACON FLOWCHART!

    Nice find...LOL!

    As for the customer service?
    Ask to speak to a SUPERVISOR and always take the name of the person you DO talk with.
    (you're a former LEO...you know HOW to interrogate THEM...lol)

    Roll safe down there.

  3. Coffeypot...I posted another fiasco. I think I am done with those clowns.

    Bob G. I did and I even took screen shots of the whole dang thing. It didn't matter. They gave me fake numbers.